What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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