First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
