i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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