we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
