I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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