i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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