is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
