I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
