She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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