I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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