I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
