He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
