mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
