shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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