my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
