i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
