I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
"it" just moved
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
