Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
