he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
