Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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