I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
