if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
