masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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