yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I think I just sharted jello shots
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
