I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize