He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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