no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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