Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
