How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
