She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
