I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
