Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
