I smell stomach acid.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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