My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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