I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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