So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
