i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches