I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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