Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
