How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
