I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
