Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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