almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
try to milk me bitch
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
