Tell her she can't have a vagina
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
