my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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