guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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