Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
