Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
