nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
