you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
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college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.