Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(309): View more from Illinois

nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(309): nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol http://tfl.nu/jhs1

Replies (54) Good night (1627) Bad night (3302)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve. http://tfl.nu/vdk5

Replies (16) Good night (844) Bad night (2747)
Favorite
(216): View more from Ohio

Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(216): Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened. http://tfl.nu/9qga

Replies (16) Good night (1045) Bad night (4557)
Favorite
(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(774): I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books. http://tfl.nu/zd3b

Replies (14) Good night (3925) Bad night (784)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system. http://tfl.nu/14j2

Replies (16) Good night (1144) Bad night (3987)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates http://tfl.nu/tadv

Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (2399)
Favorite
(323): View more from California

Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(323): Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl. http://tfl.nu/6wl6

Replies (32) Good night (2120) Bad night (4150)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots http://tfl.nu/44j2

Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (1533)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place. http://tfl.nu/k1hb

Replies (30) Good night (1316) Bad night (1942)
Favorite
(916): View more from California

He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(916): He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/4abm

Replies (9) Good night (1913) Bad night (667)
Favorite
(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(901): Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking. http://tfl.nu/5z7b

Replies (11) Good night (1263) Bad night (831)
Favorite
(501): View more from Arkansas

Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(501): Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again. http://tfl.nu/b8kl

Replies (2) Good night (995) Bad night (221)
Favorite
(289): View more from Ontario

In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(289): In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/ntm3

Replies (13) Good night (333) Bad night (754)
Favorite
(208): View more from Idaho

i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(208): i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure. http://tfl.nu/4yxo

Replies (0) Good night (588) Bad night (160)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE? http://tfl.nu/0e68

Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (161)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: