I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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