I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude