Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Randomize
Follow @tfln