I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.