Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
