she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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