Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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