apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
