dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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