drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
