i don't like sucking hair
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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