You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's just like the Real World with babies
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
