I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
