both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
