I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
