awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
