mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I wish I only lived at night.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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