Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
17 year olds will be the death of me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
