birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
