i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
