your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
