Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
