When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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