Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
