like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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