four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A+ Viking dick
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
